10 Unusual TWINS You Have Never Seen In Your Life

Life May Be Weird but You Don’t Have to Be

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Those of us who live withchronic paineach day have many choices to make. I know from first hand or should I say my “First Tushy” experience that we all feel helpless and robbed of choices more times than not, but that isn’t totally true. I realize “First Tushy” doesn’t have quite the elevation of First Lady but there you have it; my life. We are not mere victims. We remain the pilots of our planes as well as the captains of our own ships. I know we often have our doubts. We feel more enslavement than freedom; more the conquered than the victors and finally, hopelessly weird. I think that’s enough metaphors to choke a good sized horse but I’m certain you sense my direction.

Today, after five years of chatting with all of you who also suffer, I would like to share three of my favorite words in this strange life we have been given; with the hope these thoughts will keep you and I from becoming too warped, bitter, angry and yes, weird.

1. CONDESCENSION. Described as “a snobby and pretentiously kind manner or behavior that implies that somebody is graciously lowering himself or herself to the level of people less socially important or intelligent.” Let me see? How many of you have left a doctor’s office feeling as if you were slammed in the gut with condescension? Most of us who have lived with chronic pain for a long or even short period of time know that feeling and it hurts. To be made to feel stupid, unimportant and inconsequential is humiliating. To go through that experience and to leave a doctor’s office with no helpful answers makes it even more painful. Each time we are treated in such a manner, by a doctor, a friend or any other person we feel the sting of condescension as if for the first time. We often begin to have doubts about ourselves, our condition and sometimes our sincerity. Are we really having pain? Is it as bad as we believe it is? Am I being a “baby” about this? Should I just suck it up and take it; can I?

As a nurse of 30+ years and a patient for a good portion of that time, I have known, worked with and been seen by manydoctors. They come in all types, just like the rest of us. Unfortunately, we often put them a position of judgment which can cut both ways. They can help and sometimes, they can hurt us deeply. I have visited both types. I have worked with many doctors I would never see as a patient. Some of them are born calloused; others become that way after seeing 30-50 patients each day with needs and complaints. I’ve known some who put up barriers in their hearts to ward off too much caring and others who care very deeply and unabashedly. I once worked with a big hearted physician who gave Holy Bibles to most of his patients; another who patted an unconscious patient on the bottom during back surgery, just because he could.

As a patient my experiences have been equally intriguing. I arrived for an appointment with a well known rheumatologist whose waiting room was in chaos and he was helping to answer the phones. He took 10 phone calls during my examination and then concluded there was nothing wrong with me. How would he know? I traveled three hours one way for that particular disappointment and cried all the long way home. I have often been blessed with compassionate and understanding physicians, particularly my former internist in CA and my current family practice doctor who is a jewel, here in Oregon. It helps to have one true human being in your corner that also has a medical degree. It also helps to remember a doctor is just a person, like you, who has been to medical school. Like them, believe them or follow their advice. It’s up to you.

One of my favorite old movies is A MAJORITY OF ONE. It begins by saying, “Any man more right than his neighbors, constitutes a majority of one.”

It’s a wonderful film with Rosalind Russell and Alec Guinness. Rent it sometime. Remember, doctors are not always right, neither are they always able to “fix” us.

2. TRANSENDENCE. If your pain is all you have, it calls out to you loudly and begins to take over your life. Like a rude visitor it comes into your life with its foul breath and breathes on you, constantly niggling you with its poking and prodding presence. You and I have to find a way totranscend our conditionafter we have done everything we can for chronic pain. At first, we are angry and find our condition unbelievable. We explode, we cry, and pull out every ugly emotion we own. Finally, for most of us, we reach a point at which we can’t stand ourselves any longer. That’s when we’ve tried it all, found a few solutions for the pain and realize some of it will always be with us. That bears repeating. Yes, it may always be with us. That is when we must seek transcendence. Sometimes we find it in counseling. Others find it in their faith in a loving God when they get over being angry with Him. The list of ways to find this peace that lifts you above your daily pain is long and often hard fought. It’s as individual as each of us is. I urge you to take some quiet time each day or each time you are down to find your pathway out of this hole. Life goes on and still calls out to be lived to as full a potential as we can muster. Prayer, helping others, painting, writing…the list goes on.

3. THE POWER OF LOVE. I’ve always been intrigued by how many of you, including myself of course, have pets we love very much. They give us unconditional love as well as constancy. They demand that we exercise as we care for their needs. They don’t talk back except for an occasional growl. They are often little or large four-footed angels. The humans in our lives can cause us much trouble but they can also be wonderful to support us, love us and give us understanding. Chronic pain, with its many changes can alsochange our love relationships. It pulls on all of us and our loved ones, straining and exhausting us and them. It’s often a good idea to save the complaining for the big pains because we can create a heavily laden atmosphere of sadness. It’s quite enough to know our entire life has changed and we have much adapting to do. I suppose that’s why I so often speak of joy in my blogs. Joy, happiness and laughter can eradicate sadness and its minions which will eventually destroy you if you let them.

It’s wonderful to be loved but equally wonderful to be the giver of love. It’s the most powerful force in this world and probably the next. Love someone today.

Sue now has a page — check it out and “like” her now!

Last Updated:7/14/2011
Important:The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and not Everyday Health.
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Date: 04.12.2018, 17:23 / Views: 54193